Hi my name is Frank Pecenka and I have a
testimony that 14 years within organized religion almost destroyed
my life and my family. My wife and I started out with a sincere
desire to know and to please God but something went terribly
wrong over the years and in the end I turned my back on God,
The Church and Organized Religion.
I finally came to that place where I found
that I was emotionally, spiritually and financially bankrupt
having exhausted all of my resources trying to make my skewed
faith work.
I have come to the realization that
the faith I had was in legalism and the formulas of men and
their doctrines. Through much suffering, loss, adversity,
pain and humiliation I discovered that I could not tip the
hand of God and that my best efforts to adhere to the formulas
and doctrines of men didn't matter one iota to God.
The milestone event that finally
caused me to hit the proverbial wall happened after our
family had gone through the loss of our home and bankruptcy.
This took place as a result of more than 10 years of tithing,
giving and supporting various ministries as well as doing
"good works" besides. Since we were trying to raise a family on a
single income while home schooling our 2 kids our finances were spread
so thin that we had to constantly borrow to make up the shortfall.
After more than 10 years of this
folly our debt load swamped us like a tidal wave. The
underlying message we kept getting through these turbulent
years was that there had to be something wrong with you
or God would bless you and heal your finances since his
own law binds him. Anyone who cannot make these laws,
formulas and doctrines work soon finds themselves on
the outside looking in as they are cast aside and rejected
since it has to work, doesn't it?
While the pain from my own
loss and resulting humiliation was still very fresh,
I had to endure listening to a Christian businessman's
testimony in our church. It turned out that he was
facing personal bankruptcy over 1 million dollars in
business debts which he was burdened with as the result
of a chain reaction involving a client business that
went bankrupt.
He tearfully shared that
he had spent that week getting right with God and
as a result God had seen to it that the consortium
that he owed the money forgave his debt. Upon hearing
that, I found myself filled with rage, bitter, disillusioned
and feeling rejected by God. God allowed this man
who has a home and lifestyle I could only ever dream
of to keep his yet the personal sacrifices we made
and the things we did without counted as nothing.
We were not even empowered to continue what we were
doing and there was no eleventh hour intervention
on our behalf.
I thankfully came to
the conclusion that I could probably never get
right with God since my best efforts thus far were
useless. Realizing that fact provided a sense of
freedom from the bondage of performance to earn
favor that is a common theme in organized religion.
The time was right for me to hear a message of
Grace and the unconditional love of God. This simple
but timely message has helped me to put the shattered
pieces of my life in perspective.
Since I am presently
recovering from a deep depression I still have
much anger to work through, primarily directed
toward organized religion. Part of this process
caused me to sit down and write a letter, which
I actually had in a stamped and addressed envelope
ready to mail the next day. Instead of the mailbox
it ended up in the trash. I have decided to add
that letter to this testimony to illustrate what
emotional roller coaster ride people in organized
religion can find themselves on.
My hope in writing
this testimony is that it helps one single
person to not go through that what I went through.
If that is the case it will have been worth
it.
Yours in Christ,
Frank Pecenka
Attached
letter to pastor:
September 14, 1999
Dear (Pastor),
As you receive
this letter Clive Pick will have just been
to teach at the recent "Releasing Financial
blessing" seminar at (omitted) Fellowship.
In light of that seminar I would like to
offer my services as a guest speaker to
do a follow up relating my personal experiences
in "The Release of Financial Blessing in
My Life". I would gladly waive any honorariums
so that the offerings can go straight to
(omitted) Fellowship.
I have
so much that I would like to share having
spent over ten years tithing plus giving
as well as supporting various ministries.
The blessing that ensued resulted in
causing us to have lost everything that
my wife and I spent the previous 20 years
of our lives working for. I would also
like to share the fact that as my financial
picture progressively deteriorated I
found myself working longer, harder and
giving more than ever with no eleventh
hour divine intervention.
Armed
with more than ten years of teachings
on the subject from many sources I
was determined to put my faith in these
teachings to the test and to make them
work only to have it virtually destroy
any faith that I had left. I would
love to share the emotions I felt as
I dragged myself off to work while
I had pneumonia and was coughing up
blood. I had to do that because if
I didn't work I wouldn't get paid and
I needed every penny I could earn just
to stay afloat.
I
would love to share about the thousands
of dollars that I spent over a ten-year
period on "Christian Counseling " at
sixty-five dollars per hour. Many
in leadership suggested I do that
in an attempt to find out what is
wrong with me and in what areas I
am not "Right With God". If you do
as the teachings dictate it has to
work or there is a problem with you,
am I correct?
I
would also like to share the struggles
I had wondering why God would have
me take two hours off of work from
my $12.00/hr after tax income to
pay someone, who is doing "God's
Work" $65/hr for their time.
In
case you are interested I might
also be able to convince a friend
from my days in the (omitted)
Fellowship to give his personal
testimony about his experiences
with "Releasing Financial blessing".
My
friend has a powerful testimony
about having been a Christian
businessman who at the peak
of his business tithed $100,000
per year. On his own initiative
he was also the sole support
for a missionary couple in
Central America and also personally
helped people in need by employing
them or helping them financially.
My
friend was one of the most "Christ
Like" individuals I ever
met yet he ended up losing
everything in a business
and personal bankruptcy.
The last I heard from him
he was living in a small
trailer on his brother's
farm. To add to the pain
he endured he found himself
being judged and shunned
by his peers (fellow Christian
businessmen) who were certain
that he was not tithing or "Right
With God".
If
you feel that you would
like my friend and I to
come and share our experiences
and to help re-enforce
the powerful teaching that
Clive Pick' has left (omitted)
Fellowship please don't
hesitate to contact me.
Yours
in Christ
Frank Pecenka
fgpecenka@shaw.ca
